Mar 20
2010
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I love my hubby so much but I need his words. I need actual verbal commentary, feedback, reassurance?
My husband just cannot give compliments. He has never said "You are so sexy" or HHHmmm. I want you., You have great______.
( For those of you who old enuf to remember "happy days"-TV show, - It's like the Fonz trying to say "I was wrong" hahaha)
The only compliment I've heard is a very neutral "you look nice'.
Yes i sincereley compliment him. Everyday. It comes from my heart.
I'm verbal , I can't help it.
General Stats:
I'm 43 , hes 36.I'm tanned and curvy, not unnattractive.
He is handsome.
Married 12 yrs. 2 kids ages 7 & 9. I'm Hispanic , he;s JewishYour not being needy, your being human we all want a little compiment every now and then. Some guy's are just ignorant that way.Listen don't compliment him too much hold back a bit and if he makes a comment about it then just let him know how you feelI dont think it makes you needy, we all like compliments especially from our SO. I think maybe if you start to compliment him more, he will compliment you more. Often times in relationships we feed off on another and we pick up on mannerisms and personality traits of one another. Maybe if you give him compliments he will start dishing them out too.Talk to one of you or his friends and explain this to them so they can talk to him. Not that you would. But that is why women flir at work. Men at work tell them these things they want to hear like that. So he needs to do the same at home to keep your interest. Just of one of your/his friends explain this to him and give him some pointers. This should get the ball going.
rdYou have different needs and ways of expressing your love to one another and he's not speaking your language so to speak. There is a book about the 5 love languages that you may find helpful or just try talking to him and let him know you like to hear these things from time to time. Yes, this is a big problem. People seldom compliment each other. And, I agree with you, compliments are the food for successful relationships.
All I can tell you, explain to him how good a compliment makes you feel, tell him in so many words what you would like to hear - yes, if his parents did not teach him, you will have to - and reward him with a hug or a kiss when he finally does it.
I know this all sounds childish, but it will work.Actions speak louder than words.
If he treats you like he finds you sexy then you'll have to settle for that.
Some people especially some men are not very good with words.
Also remember some men are really good with the compliments and you can't trust them as far as you can throw them.
So decide what's more important to you....the words or the actions and then let it go and love each other.No offense hon, but if after 12 years of marriage you still need verbal commentary, feedback, reassurance, that's kinda sad.
And in my opinion, yes, it makes you a bit needy.
You sound like you've got some self-esteem issues to work out.
Since he doesn't verbally tell you, does he show you in other ways? If so, I'm sure this is how he knows (and feels comfortable) how to express it. Im sure you've thought of that, but it is true.
Have you told him how you feel? Women need words (alot of words) as well as the physical aspect of a relationship. I guess men are visual and women are "feelers".
Sit him down (without kids) and really explain to him how much it would mean to you to hear him tell you these things.
Show him your the question you posted. Good luck.yea my husband is the same way hasnt complimented me EVER only the neutral oh you look nice. 5 yrs 3 kids later still nothing. i sued to compliment him all the time in hope sof bossting is self esteem and self worth but i stopped that long time ago and still nothing has changed. yes i have spoken to him about why he doesnt compliment me. finally i figured ya know what hes got too many walls up and when he is ready to take one down and actually give me praise or a compliment i will take it but until then im not goign to go out of my way to make him feel beter about himself anymoreGosh! I have the same problem but in reverse. My husband is always giving me compliments and I never do to him. He has made it an issue and it has almost turned in to a battle of the wills. The more he expects it from me the less I want to do it. Also, I think that because he does compliment me so much that I don't have the need for it, because that need is being filled. Maybe I take it for granted. Your husband may feel the same way. Perhaps if you stopped complimenting him then that would make him more aware of what it feels like to never get a compliment. Don't make it an issue and cut back on the free compliments until he begins to give back a little. I think that this would work for me. Good Luck!just don't ever let him make you believe that because you want your husband to be nice to you..that your needy, or insecure..or make you believe that a beautiful, sexy, women doesn't need compliments..because she's not ugly, and looks in the mirror everyday.. so she should feel good on her own..not true..you deserve to be given compliments from your man as much as any other women does...
because he's switching it up..
making it seem like it's your issue.......
when it's really his issue..#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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